guiLty in assOciatiOn_

Dear ‘brother’,

I was merely pushing my luck, thou.

Didn’t actually think that you would accept the family request. Hihi..

Huh. 3 days for you to think over it.

Then suddenly, out of the blue, you actually accept it.

I can’t help but smile, you know.

‘brother’,

When you said that you know me better than what I wanna accept or said, I actually kinda believe it.

Then again, I realized you wouldn’t. it’s been a while since we talked to each other.

That day when we parted ways wasn’t actually my best scene.

I wouldn’t think that you would even recognize me anymore now.

I don’t believe you.

I don’t believe any word that you say.

Pardon me for still being this selfish.

This part of me, I’m sure you wouldn’t forget.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way.

But seeing you getting all upset because of me, it pleases me. LOL…

You may not be my superman but please don’t let me be your kryptonite.

I’m not worth it.

‘brother’,

Keep moving on, now.

You got your life ahead of you.

Live your life to the fullest!!

Yeah…

One more thing,

I know I made you promises a lil’ while ago.

Then again, as time goes by, I realized that we weren’t doing this the right way.

I tried to explain it to you, thou. Really.

And you know how much I hate to explain things.

It’s just not my thing.

It doesn’t run in my blood.

I flunked my ‘explaining and sorting things out’ lesson.

***excuses***

Perhaps after some time, you may be able to believe it.

You know,

Discussion works both ways.

I told you the truth in the light of you would understand my situation.

Then it happened.

 Guess I was wrong about you.

Of all the people I’ve known for my whole life, I thought you would understand.

Well, now I know I thought wrong.

Miscalculated things. AGAIN.

I do hope that someday you would find this piece of info.

May it enlighten your soul.

I’m not leaving you behind. I’m here with you.

It’s just that for now, we have to part ways.

You know they say; if you love someone, let them go.

If that person comes back to you, then he’s yours.

And I hereby made that promise to myself.

blablablablabla

 if it is, let it be. If it’s not, let it be.

We pray, we hope for the best.

Then leave all the rest to HIM.

HE knows the best.

We may or may not see each other again, thou.

Let’s just pray, okay bro??

I wish you well.

I’ll tell HIM whenever I miss the guy that used to make me smile.

That guy that used to continue talking to me even when I would just sit there and play my poker face.

That guy that would always smile and laugh.

That guy that loves to tease and make fun of others.

The guy who always make me cry myself to sleep at night.

The guy who did his best to be always there for this girl.

Do me one favor please.

Just tell HIM whenever you miss the girl that annoyed the hell out of you.

The girl that would just sit and watch you all day long.

Instead of telling you something, she would just keep it to herself till you mention something about it.

Instead of saying yes, she would just smile and let you do all the dirty work.

Instead of being a good obedient girl, she would talk back to you.

Instead of saying that she loves you, she said that she hates you.

Instead of saying that she misses you, she would rather annoy the hell out of you.

Instead of being there with you, she would just linger for a moment.

Then, she’s all gone.

I’m a goner.

Well, we got bigger responsibilities ahead of us.  

Please don’t make it any harder for us.

Oops, I forgot.

There’s no more ‘us’.

Funny.

Wonder how much more forgetful could I be.

So dear ‘brother’,

Take a good care of yourself there,

P/S: whenever that you may find this, I do wish you well…